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Thursday 31 March 2011

Ladies...this is the 'talent' we are subjected to :(

Ladies...this is the 'talent' we are subjected to' :(

Hello m'darlings,


So yesterday my sister and i thought we'd have a browse through the shaadi.com website...just for laughs (don't be getting no ideas now!) and BOY DID WE HAVE FITS OF LAUGHTER OR WHAT!!!


So let me break it down to you ladies, this is what the UK has for us in terms of their most eligible bachelors...according to shaadi.com of couse. You don't mind if i use a few examples do you?! Of course i will keep the names annonymous and this is purely for humour purposes :) Oh and these are all British born Bangladeshi lads by the way...but i'm sure the same 'type' of guys are prominent in other communities...


1)
i'm very simple. i'm very quite boy. i like read islamic book. i m muslim

A bit too simple i think. I can imagine his wife saying "Shall we go out for dinner?" and him replying "No, it ok i read book". Another lad with similar interests to this guy:

I am not that much outgoing, sorry abt that. i prefer to pass my free time staying home, i dont like too much crowed, i dont want to share my problems with anybody without exception, there are few people who can understand me and my feelings. I like every beautiful creation of God, i fond of beauty. I like healthy music no matter what kind of it. I like driving, chatting, spending good time with family. I dont like watching sports channel all the day, i dont like when people do lie for nothing. The kind of person i am looking for who is pretty, simple, not moody, who is dreamful, funny, can adjust with all situation, thinks about future, looks royal, prasentable, has a clean and soft heart. she would be flexible and ready to travel to my country at any time, as my profession would be a lawyer and i want to practise in both country, she better have the pleasure to stay in a mix environment like Bangladesh and England, hope we will have fun.

He wants to be a lawyer yet he is not outgoing and doesn't like crowds? That's like me saying i want to be a child psychologist...but i don't like kids!


2)
IM A SIMPLE MAN AND AM LOKING FOR SIMPLE GIRL 4 ME, HU WILL LOVE ME, CARE ABOUT ME, I LOVE MY FAMILY ND I WANT SOMONE WHO WILL LOVE MY FAMILLY, IF ANYBODY SIRIUS ABOUT MERRIGE THEN THEY CAN CONTRAC ME NO WEASTIN TIME

Der's nuffink mre anoyin dan reciving a txt msg lyk dis! I cannot stand people who write like this. I'm not being all high and mighty but it really annoys me to see so many spelling and grammatical errors in one sentance...its partly down to my (very minor form of) OCD too.


3)
Im a british asain (Bengali) in this vigilant society, im a young entrepeneaur currently own two businesses so im working very hard to make something of myself one day, im a kind caring person, would go out of my way to please someone special, always laughing and joking, im slim build not that tall but tall enough, live in essex near lakeside. i don't really know what else to say about myself i think thats enough about me, lets talk about you! Lol

Again, another bachelor with with a lack of flare and education it seems. I have NOTHING against someone who does not have vast amounts of educational qualifications but darling if you're going to write 'vigilant society'  and 'entrepeneur', know the meaning and the context in which these words are to be used...certainly not applicable for a shaadi.com profile! He's 24 by the way and to be a young entrepeneur only signifies that he is probably a college dropout and taking care of his father's restaurants...not really Gordan Ramsey now are we?! And do you remember how our teachers would always give us prompts throughout exams about checking our work and reading over our work again and again and again...clearly this lad chose not to listen to his teachers!


4)
Hello My names *******......... I have joined this website to meet different women, for friendship and further if we get along well. So a bit about me.... Id like to think that im a very nice and kind person with a good sense of humour which goes a long way. I always like to enjoy my self as life is short and enjoy to the full, i go out with my friends on a regular basis as i dont have any family over here there the closest thing i have. Im not a person who likes staying in, im someone whos not scared trying different things and going on an adventure... you could say im a bit wild..... So if you like the sound of me then just request me. Chow Chow

Chow chow? My 2 year old nephew doesn't even say that when he leaves our house! and a bit wild? Reminds me of Alex Reid and his alter-ego (that woman he likes dressing up as). Oh gosh, if my parents ever married me off to someone like this i...i...i honestly don't know what i'd do. He wouldn't be home half the time anyway, he'd be out with his friends and enjoying life to the fullest as life is too short. Indeed it is...with someone like him!


5)
i am ****** *****. i have boned in bangladesh. i am simple, quite, gantle. i like to fun. i want same to me.Boned?

Oh gosh, doesn't sound too good does it?! There's nothing worse than a British born Bangladeshi girl marrying a guy like this, how would they communicate? Unless her Bengali was impeccable of course....oh and if she didn't mind a 'simple, quite, GANTLE' guy...sounds oh-so appealing doesn't he?!


6)
hi, im new to this so be gentle. im always working or im working out. Difficult to find someone. im looking for someone with looks aswell as a brain. i need to be able to talk to her when we are old. dont know what else to write, to find out more holla back

This guy sounds too busy to commit to marriage...sounds like he's married to work and the gym! He's obviously looking for a drop dead gorgeous model who has completed her degree, Masters and currently doing her PhD...from what i know, Bengali girls are generally under 5ft4 and not a lot of them go on to further their studies after graduating....sorry mate, good luck in finding that needle in the haystack though! I for one will not be ‘hollering’ at you anytime soon…


7)
i am very easy going person can able to cope with a hard situation, i am very caring and also very lovable person

Blaitently copied the 'cope with a hard situation' line from his CV! With a mere 1 line and 3 words, you're not doing yourself any justice mate. Bor-ring!


8)
Decent and Gentle! Neva done Clubbing, neva smoke, Neva drink !! Outgoing, Social and More Like Friendly ! Try to be honest and neva try to lie but sometimes it happens without any reason. I look young and people never believe me am 24 like. No one can guess my age, only my parents, friends and relatives know about it. I respect the family values and it is always important to me cause from a good and educated family can give a wise and educated nation which is good for our nation and culture. I am scared of allah and i belive holy quran and Mohammad (sm) Our prohet. But i can't prove it cause i don't pray 5 times which is more important. But i know one day it will happnen as i belive in allah and islam. Personally am very romantic and emotional. I would give my life anytime if someone realy loves me. In this age i learnt my responsibilities and ma parents and relative calls me matured person. I belive in reality most, dream can be true but its not wise to have luxarious dream. !! I got my limits and i got a future plan and i move forward according to this. I can make you laugh when your upset, i can calm you down if your hot temperd, when you are emotional i can wipe your tears. Im Looking for someone who realy cares, respect family values, honest and atleast scared of allah. Anyone welcome but all i want from you is love and you will get back more than you wanted i can assure you! Im not interested in arranged marraige, its kind of weird to me. I would like to know the person im going to marry in near future ! If you don't wanna have a relationship then you can be friend with me anytime!! You never know anyone can help you in any day. Last. No time wasters please!! Treat everyone with politeness, Even those who are rude to you..... Not because they are not nice, But bcoz u are nice.... !!! Goodluck Everyone !!

Hahahaha, this is funny...yet i feel to bring my violin out because i can tell he finds it diffcult expressing himself in words! My minor levels of OCD are exceeding it's limits with this one...


9)
hello, i\'m a muslim. I have black hair, dark brown eyes, I work in a restaurant as a waiter. i\'m fun to be with.................... and very attracting...

Oh dear, i can assure you ladies he wasn't 'attracting'. Black  hair, dark brown eyes...then he tells me he's a waiter at a restaurant. I'm a girl who is extermely passionate about all that i do, i have many aspirations and dreams i wish to pursue and to be with someone like this will kill all of that.


10)
wats good everyone? my names hassan, i was married before, i have 3kids 1 boi and 2 gyals, and i am on the search for my ideal Mrs who has to be about the age of 21 to 24, short and petite, has to be stunning that is a must, sexy body, sexy eyes, Bengali, funny some one that will make me laff, some one i can trust and relay on, some one that is lovable, and who is respectful and will get on with my family as i have a big family. Anyways back to me not bragging but i am a good looking guy, who has a fun and successful future planned ahead, so whoever the lucky girl is will have a fun and luxury life with me, i already have my own house which i am renting out currently, i also have 2 family businesses and have plans to open more in the future. People describe me as being down to earth and funny, that don't mean i cant be serious because i am at the right times, i don't let know one walk all over me or take me for a fool, so be aware no time wasters please, as you will get booed off!! Anyways in my spare time i enjoy going to the gym, going out with my mates, taking family out to eat, so don't worry about getting married and being bored at home, because my family are chilling and would not expect you to be stuck home, and i for sure would not allow that as i would be taking my Mrs out everywhere, bare holidays :). so that's a brief description about me, anyone that likes the sound of me and wants to know more then holla at me peace!!

This just screams BAGGAGEEE! Here we have our 'ghetto boy', the one that would salute his inlaws with 'wats good fam?' instead of salaam. There's nothing more annoying and sad than having to put up with a guy who talks to you like you're one of his boys for the rest of your life.


So there we have it ladies, this is the poole of the UK's most eligable Bangladeshi bachelors. Spoilt for choice won't you agree? From this, we have learnt:
a) That finding our soul mate may be harder than we think
b) There are a lot of BORING Bengali guys
c) If we don't end up with a boring, quiet or 'gantle' bengali guy...we'll probably end up with a wild rude boy with some baggage
d) I probably sound like a total cow for doing this post, but hand on heart it was for humour purposes only.


Who's your type then?


Ellister X

8 comments:

  1. Sis, you had me rolling.. LOOOOOOOOOOOL Cute blog.. :) :) come visit mine.. :) :) :)

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  2. hahahahah what the total eff?! I agree with the spelling and grammar thing though, I'm the loser who HAS to text back in proper english haha

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  3. This is one of the best posts I've read...I do agree with you to some extent, but not with the 'soul mate' :/ I'm not some cold hearted monster, but I consider that as a myth haha

    hmmm I don't think I have a 'type'? I used to, but then I realised he only exists in my head, so I decided to be open and take chances...lets see if that works hahah

    love your blog :) x

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  4. hahahahhahahahahaha, oh dear. Although I guess lots of the actually nice/good guys out there don't do shaadi.comming! My friends and i were talking about the ideal man the other day and realised that we were just describing male versions of ourselves. oops. self love huh?!
    www.thecoverfelloff.blogspot.com

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  5. LOOOL...came across your blog,and even though I'm not a Bengali,this made me laugh so hard!
    My type? hmm...I've found out that he doesn't really exist,he's too perfect y'know,so I don't even care anymore,I see what the Lord has in store for me. Peace (:

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  6. LOOOL don't know how i found your blog but this was jokesssssss & Masha'Allah sis you are gorgeousssss - imma bengali too WOOPWOOP :D

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  7. Thank you both Annonymous people :) and good luck with partner-finding...

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